Parenting Tip of the Day:

Parenthood requires an honest reframing of one’s spiritual beliefs.  Nirvana is reached in that brief moment when the dirty clothes hamper and clean clothes laundry basket are both empty.  Nirvana is short-lived, if not unattainable.

Parenting Tip of the Day:

Happy Birthday, MLK! (We didn’t get you anything)

If you explain to your child that the reason she’s not in school is because it’s Martin Luther King, Jr’s birthday, be prepared to explain why the hell she wasn’t invited to his party.  No fair!

Parenting Tip of the Day:

The pretend tears that are elicited by telling a pretend story about a pretend bear that eats a pretend family at the request of a real three-and-a-half year old, last just as long, and are just as loud as the real tears that might have ensued after sharing a nonfiction story with the same plot.

Parenting Tip of the Day:

When you are three, and you haven’t had a nap, and you don’t like bubbles in the bath, this constitutes bubbles, and crying is necessary.

Parenting Tip of the Day:

A cleaning tip…

Ant problems got you down?  Leave an open bottle of honey in an out-of-the-way kitchen cabinet.  It could take weeks for you to notice that the ants are even living there, and once you do, you can just shut the cabinet and forget about it.  Problem solved!

Parenting Tip of the Day:

Take compliments where you can get ‘em; “Mom, you smell hot,” totally counts.

Parenting Tip of the Day:

Be concerned about your child’s advanced reasoning skills and proclivity for a career in the field of law if she’s able to convince the angel on her shoulder to swap spots.

Parenting Tip of the Day

Listening to your toddler’s words and obeying her requests can help her develop much-needed feelings of autonomy and empowerment.  The ideal time to test this advice may not be when she is not grabbing one of your possessions and running out of the room screaming, “You don’t see me!”  That said, implementing it at this time might buy you five minutes of alone time.

Parenting Tip of the Day:

If  a toddler demands that you lick your lips, I recommend you do it.  Otherwise, finally overtaken with generosity, she may lick them for you.

Parenting Tip of the Day:

A glob of mayonnaise on your iPhone screen can not be “scrolled” away.  Stop trying.  Really!  You’re making a mess.